Despair

The greatest evil released from Pandora’s Box – despair. There is a powerful illusion connected to this word. Beyond all sorrow and beyond depression, this is so overwhelming and ensnaring. Despair is when you are not only sorrowful, but disconnected and hardened beyond repair – a sort of cold indifference. There is feeling, that one is bereft of all purpose, and life itself seems so hostile. When you acknowledge or work towards something, everything flows like an ocean. Buffeted yet moving towards a hidden area. But when you lose it, life itself is a phantasma, all motion is meaningless, captured and stagnated until there is just pain - a shell in which you are withdrawn, with nothing of the environment.
Then life itself is so mechanical and robotic that one loses ‘en-theo-sia-zein’ and all that is, is self, but no ‘I’. There is personified a malice that seeks to revel and overpower in this emptiness that appears to be a roof, but a roof that confines and not shelters. This existence feels so evil and all subsistence is a drag, that the eventuality is a suicidal approach. Escape from this cruel sympathy that appears to feel sorrow for this weakness, instead of emboldening the ‘I’. Eventually, all is lost.

Frozen

It was surrounding me…
The block of ice,
That promised to warm,
But not thaw,
But yet betrayed,
Chilled to the heart.

Bereft of all purpose
No drive,
No goal,
Existence.
Just Existence.
Going on.
Pulled by invisible threads,
Attached to mechanical limbs
And a mindless mind.

Dragging on,
Pain that just seeps,
Like this icy water,
Daggers
Through this crack,
Floods,
Drowns
And all I want,
Escape,
For a while
Or better,
Forever.
Light before my eyes.